


Ashes

by Cute_little_oppas, fayrenz



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22995394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cute_little_oppas/pseuds/Cute_little_oppas, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fayrenz/pseuds/fayrenz
Summary: His eyes were a weak, yet beautiful shade of grey, like ashes after a silent fire; but their warmth held immense power, the power to raise him back from ashes, the power to bring reason back to his ruined self.
Relationships: Kim Jonghyun & Lee Jinki | Onew, Kim Jonghyun/Lee Jinki | Onew
Kudos: 8





	Ashes

Jinki woke up with a jolt when he felt something hard poke into his side. “What?” He sputtered.

“Can you move in? I’ve been asking that since a while.” The man who had woken him up huffed and quickly settled down in the seat Jinki had just moved out from.

Jinki rested his forehead against the windowpane as he stared at his own reflection, taking in the haunting blue his eyes had turned into, the intricate lines running along the sides of his face and disappearing beneath the collar of his jacket. He sighed, settling his gaze on the reflection of the man who sat beside him.

He was the first person to approach Jinki since he had woken up on this world. His eyes and his marks told everything about him before he could speak, but yet those eyes and the marks never gave away what Jinki wanted people to think about him.

He watched the man fiddle with his stick and glasses, ruffling his light brown hair, turning his head in the direction of slightest noise. Jinki let out a sad sigh when realisation dawned on him. The man was blind, thus he didn’t even hesitate for a moment to sit beside Jinki. Well at least this was better than the usual fearful looks he got.

A few stops later he watched the man get up and move to the front, apologizing on his way whenever the bus jostled a little as he knocked into the other passengers.

Jinki closed his eyes once the man was out of the bus, trying to catch up on his lost sleep.

-

The next day Jinki quietly moved in towards the window when he saw the man climb up the bus. And as Jinki had expected he sat down beside him softly humming a tune. Jinki let the soft and gentle hum take over his mind, drowning out all the other thoughts residing in his head.

-

A week had passed since Jinki’s encounter with the man, they hadn’t even exchanged a word since the first day but yet Jinki found himself calm down in the man’s presence. He felt his heart quieten, his brain stopping all the thoughts as his senses embraced the man. He did nothing, didn’t approach the man, fearing that he would scare him away too.

-

As Jinki got on the bus he noticed that his usual seat by the window was taken up by another. He frowned as he sat down in the back, hoping that at least the man’s seat would be left empty.

A while later he watched the man climb on and make way to his usual seat.

Jinki saw the man contemplate a bit before finally letting out sigh and settling down. Jinki soon drifted to sleep, the man’s hair gently swaying in the warm summer breeze being the last he saw before his eyes closed.

His head bounced against the cold glass waking him up from slumber. He let out a sigh of relief when he realised that they were soon going to arrive at his stop. As he pulled himself together, his eyes widened upon finding the man on his seat, his head lolling in sleep. He let go of all the disavowing thoughts as he made way to the man.

“Hey,” Jinki gently shook the man, he smiled when he saw the man jump up.

“Ye-yeah?”

“You missed your stop.” Jinki informed him. He saw the man’s eyebrows furrow behind his glasses and an instant later they rose up.

“You are the one who sits beside me.” The man said as he got up, “Which stop are we at?”   
  


“Umm...the stop at which I get off at.” Jinki said quietly as he followed the man to the front.  
  


“Doesn’t it have a name?” The man asked turning around.

“Never bothered learning it.” Jinki quietly muttered as he watched the man enquire with the driver.

“This is the last stop,” the man said as he joined Jinki in front of the bus door. “The next bus will be here at 6 in the morning.”

Jinki saw the man pout as he got off when the doors opened. He was an endearing man, Jinki concluded, when he found himself still staring at the man.

“I can’t even take a taxi,” the man sighed. “I don’t have my wallet on me.” And the man sat down in the vacant bus stand. “Can you lend me some?” The man asked, his lips pulled into an unsure smile.

“I...I don’t have any money with me now.” Jinki informed. “Spent it on groceries.” He shook the bag he held.

“What am I going to do?” The man whined as he held his head in his hands.

Jinki stood there for minutes, contemplating the thought that had sprung up in his mind. Well a blind man couldn’t hurt him, right?

  
“You can stay over at my place.” Jinki offered. “I won’t hurt you,” he added quietly when the man hadn’t answered.

“I’m Jonghyun.” The man extended his hand towards the general direction of Jinki. “If I am staying with you, at least we should get to know each other.”

Jinki took hold of the hand that was slightly off to the right. “I’m Jinki.”

-

As they walked through the narrow streets, Jonghyun tried to make small talk, trying to do away with the awkwardness that would surface between them.

“Why don’t you know the name of your stop?” Jonghyun enquired as he felt Jinki steer him to the right.

“Never felt the need to remember it. All that matters is that I just remember where my house is and which stop I need to get off and on at.” Jinki shrugged.

“Don’t you know anything else other than your house and your work? How can you live like that?” Jonghyun asked in bewilderment.

“I have a question for you,” Jinki asked as he slowed down, “How did you know that it was me who always sat beside you?”

“Your smell.” Jonghyun said. “You smell of mud and sweat, and I always knew it was you on that seat.”

Jinki nodded, a small smile pushing his chapped lips up, this was the first time someone had payed so much attention to him.

Jinki led Jonghyun into his small rundown apartment. Jonghyun wrinkled his nose at the smell of soot and wax as soon as the door to Jinki’s apartment opened.

“There’s no electricity,” Jinki informed as he carefully guided Jonghyun through his house.

“Didn’t pay your bills on time?”

“I did, but it seems they are clearing out the trees to begin construction or something so we won't have electricity for another week. Would you like something to eat?” Jinki asked finally letting go of Jonghyun’s hand as he made him sit down on his makeshift bed of old mattresses.

Jonghyun hummed as he settled down. He felt Jinki move around him and the smell of burning wick and wax filled the air.

“Where do you work?” Jonghyun asked as he took a careful, constrained bite of the instant noodles Jinki had made for them.

“I work at a construction site. You?”

“Ahh that explains the smell. I sing at this restaurant uptown.”

“You like singing.” Jinki said as he watched a sincere smile spread across Jonghyun’s face. “You always hum on the bus.”

Jonghyun chuckled as he pushed the bowl away from him. “Yeah I tend to do that.” He heard Jinki gather up their cutlery and leave the room soon after.

“Tell me who exactly are you, Jinki?” Jonghyun asked softly when Jinki had settled down beside him again.

“Hmm?”

“I’ve heard all sorts of things about your eyes and your face on the bus. Is it true that you are the shunned being that has to stay here for the sins he committed?”

“Yes.” Jinki finally spoke after a spell of long silence. “The markings of my betrayal, of my sin are etched onto my face, a caution to the beings of this world to stay away from me.”

“What did you do?” Jonghyun asked softly as he lay down beside Jinki.

Jinki turned towards Jonghyun after a few minutes, “Can you sing for me Jonghyun?”

-

In the morning Jinki woke Jonghyun up, his eyes widening when he had a clear view of Jonghyun’s eyes. They were a sharp gray, like ash, a reflection of the sadness and the pain Jinki felt within himself.

“Can I borrow your clothes?” Jonghyun asked as he wiped the stray droplets of water after he had freshened up “I can’t go in with the same clothes.”

Jinki nodded as he handed Jonghyun the smallest clothes he had.

They walked together to the bus stop, the need of starting up a conversation escaping them as the silence wasn’t awkward now.

“This is my stop.” Jonghyun said when the bus halted. “Remember it.”

-

That evening Jinki saw Jonghyun get in with a large bag in hand. “Here,” Jonghyun said as he handed over the bag to Jinki. “These give a good smell when they burn.”

Jinki tightly held onto the bag of candles Jonghyun had handed over to him.

-

The next few weeks saw Jinki gradually opening to Jonghyun. He found himself talking more, smiling and even laughing at times, things he thought he wouldn’t indulge in.

Jonghyun had taken over the job of showing Jinki around, not that it mattered to Jinki, all that mattered, and all that he remembered now was everything related to Jonghyun.

Today was one of those days where Jonghyun would take him around, showing him places he had heard about.

Jonghyun groaned as he tumbled to the ground, his glasses askew and his stick a few meters away from him.

“Did you get hurt?” Jinki asked as he helped Jonghyun up, his hands running all over him trying to find an injury.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. People don’t even have the decency to stop and help or even apologize.” Jonghyun muttered.

They continued on their outing without any other hitches and finally ended up at Jonghyun’s place for the remaining of the night. They were seated side by side on the sofa, “You know,” Jinki started quietly, he saw Jonghyun turn towards him, moving in closer. “I was confronted by a decision I did not like, a decision to save one life over the other. I couldn’t make it. I couldn’t let another die. I refused to take the decision. That stubbornness, led to an even more devastating conclusion. My wings were stripped and I was sent down here.” Jinki turned completely towards Jonghyun and brushed off the soft strands from the undiscerning eyes as he felt his heart become heavy in the remembrance of the pain and the guilt from that time surfacing again.

“What is the color of your eyes, Jinki?” Jonghyun asked as his fingers gently caressed the lines running along the sides of Jinki’s face.

Jinki couldn’t bring himself to answer. Couldn’t tell Jonghyun that his eyes were a dark blue, as dark as his sin, as dark as fatality, a constant reminder for what he had caused.

“They can’t be worse than this.” Jonghyun said softly as he gestured towards his own grey eyes.

“You have the most beautiful eyes, Jonghyun.” Jinki whispered, taking Jonghyun’s hand gingerly, the soft warmth of his hand assuring more of the tranquility his mind and heart always felt in his vicinity.

Jonghyun returned the hold, his other hand carefully assuring Jinki’s face as he leaned in closer, gently kissing the man, uncaring that it might have gone astray, hoping to ease away some of the pain the other man had kept buried within himself all this while.

“I’m sorry,” Jinki apologised when Jonghyun had retracted. He didn’t mind Jonghyun’s kiss, he had come to like the man over the course of time. This apology of his had been buried in his heart all this while, the apology he had always wanted to give to those whom he had wronged but couldn’t now, but something about Jonghyun had him pouring his heart out now.

Jonghyun hummed a soft tune as he settled against Jinki, who wound his arms around him, enveloping within his arms everything that Jonghyun was.

Jonghyun ran his fingers along Jinki’s back, tracing over the scars were Jinki’s wings used to be. “Jinki,” Jonghyun said as he linked their fingers together, “I may not be able to help you fly, but I can try to be your wings...” Jonghyun drew away from Jinki, his fingertips gently tracing Jinki’s face, “I am sure, you have beautiful eyes.”

A smile came over Jinki’s face, a result of Jonghyun’s words, that even broke the control over his tears. He held onto both of Jonghyun’s hands, lowering his head to hide his tears, despite knowing Jonghyun couldn’t see them.

But Jonghyun could feel them from the slight whimpering of the hold on his hands and he entangled their fingers, “Don’t cloud those eyes, Jinki,” He said gently, “You still have to show me the world you see with them.”

Jinki let out a soft chuckle, looking up towards Jonghyun, his soft smile, his warm, ashy eyes, inciting the courage, the strife of happiness, he had long given up hope on. “It may take a while.”

Jonghyun smiled, his smile shining through his eyes, “I have my whole life.”

-The End-


End file.
